Home funerals -- also known as
family-directed funerals or do-it-yourself
funerals -- are legal in
North Carolina as in most states. The
Funeral Consumer Alliance of the
Piedmont is supportive of the home funeral
movement. For additional
information click
here or visit the Undertaken
With
Love Project.
There is a local natural at-home death care
education and support group in Greensboro
which is inspired by the national
organization organization Crossings.
For information contact Sandy LaGrega
(336-908-4664) sunsan52@aol.com.
Sandy has ten years experience as a home
death care consultant.
A
member of our family has just died. Can
you help us arrange a home
funeral without a funeral home's
involvement?
Although a determined
family
theoretically could make last minute
arrangements for a home funeral,
Funeral Consumers Alliance of the Piedmont
does not advise it, as it
takes most families a good bit of
preparation to become fully
acquainted with their legal
responsibilities as well as to gather the
supplies and learn the basic skills
involved in caring for a body for
up to several days. There are no resources
in our chapter or community
to assist families with learning these
requirements at the time of
need.
Is
it
legal for a cemetery to force me to
purchase a grave marker through
them?
To our awareness, no federal or state
statute specifically addresses
this issue. However, case law supports the
position that consumers may
indeed supply their own marker, as long as
the marker is in keeping
with the cemetery's regulations governing
marker size, style, color and
other characteristics. In Moore vs Jas
Matthews & Col (1977,
appellate 1982) it was determined that
cemeteries cannot tie the sale
of grave markers to their installation and
that outside grave marker
dealers and installers are permitted to
perform foundation and
installation work subject to reasonable
cemetery rules, regulations and
specifications. In Roseborough Monument Co.
vs the Memorial Park
Association (1981), this was reaffirmed but
the ruling stipulated that
cemeteries do have the right to establish
reasonable rules, regulations
and specifications for anyone to perform
that work.
Consumers who want to provide their own gave
markers should get
approval in writing for a specific grave
marker from the cemetery
before that grave marker is purchased.
However, in our query to the FCA
listserv, we learned of a number of ways
that cemeteries can discourage
consumers from purchasing grave markers from
an outside source. One
writer in Bakersville, Calif., said the
local SCI-owned
mortuary/cemetery handling a burial of one
of her friends told the
family that SCI would warranty the marker
against breakage or damage by
lawn mowing equipment only if it was
purchased from the cemetery. These
types of manipulative practices are further
evidence of the need to
bring more cemeteries under the scrutiny of
the Funeral Rule.
If you believe that a cemetery is
obstructing your right to provide
your own grave marker, we would like to know
of the problem. You might
also try complaining to the North Carolina
Cemetery Commission if the
cemetery is a for-profit entity (as opposed
to a municipal cemetery).
Their phone number in Raleigh is (919)
733-4151.
North
Carolina state law does not prohibit burial
on one's own private
property. However, some local ordinances
restrict this, particularly in
larger towns and cities. For instance, we do
not know of any Guilford
County ordinances that prohibit burial of
human remains on a family's
own private property, but in the City of
Greensboro, a family may do so
only if the burial site is a family cemetery
established prior to July
1, 1957, or by permission of City Council.
You can research pertinent
local ordinances at www.municode.com:
Click
on
Municode
Library,
then
North
Carolina,
then
the
county
or
town
of
your
choice. You might also check with your local
public health
department. Lisa Carlson, author of Caring
for
the
Dead generally
advises that families burying their dead on
their own land place the
burial plot at least 150 feet from a water
supply and 25 feet from a
power line or boundary line, draw a map
indicating the plot's location
on the property, and pay to have the map
recorded with the deed.
According to North Carolina law, the
uppermost portion of the remains,
or their encasement, must be at least 18
inches below the surface of
the ground.
I just
had a loved
one cremated. Where can I legally scatter
or bury the ashes?
The
technical term is cremated remains. The
following is from the N.C.
statutes:
In
addition to the
disposal of cremated remains in a crypt,
niche, grave, or scattering
garden located in a dedicated cemetery, or
by scattering over
uninhabited public land, the sea, or other
public waterways...,
cremated remains may be disposed of in any
manner on the private
property of a consenting owner, upon
direction of the authorizing
agent.
I'm dying, and I want
to be cremated, but there is a dispute
in my family about this. When I told the
crematory about the matter,
they
refused to get involved. Can they do this?
Yes. Unless you and the funeral provider
have entered a contractual
relationship, the provider has the right
to refuse to provide service
to you on any number of grounds (other
than for reasons that would
violate your civil rights). In the recent
past, crematories that have
performed a cremation based on the
instructions of the "authorizing
agent" (the person recognized by law to be
the one responsible for
selecting final arrangements) in families
where there is discord on
this matter have been successfully sued,
so it is understandable that a
crematory would be very nervous entering
the fray. This is one
situation in which we would recommend that
you consider establishing a
preneed contract with a different provider
specifying cremation. Once
money is exchanged in such a contract, the
provider is obligated to
perform its terms, regardless of any
objections voiced by other family
members. You also should consider
appointing a sympathetic individual
as your authorizing agent via the North Carolina
Appointment of Agent for Body
Disposition and Authorization for
Cremation form (see
the next question).
Can
I
designate someone before I die to
make decisions regarding the final
disposition of my body at the time
of my death?
Yes. One means to
do so is via a health
care power of
attorney
(HCPOA) which specifically grants the
individual you so designate to
make decisions regarding what happens to
your body after your death.
This is a broad based power that gives
this person the right (within
the scope of other laws) to make decisions
as to the method of final
disposition (e.g., burial or cremation),
donations of the body or its
parts, and autopsies (not otherwise
required by a medical examiner), in
addition to health care decision-making
powers that would be granted
before you die if you were to become
incapacitated. If you desire, you
may also use the HCPOA to limit the scope
of any of these powers (for
instance, to require cremation as the
means of final disposition).
However, a HCPOA is not invoked unless you
are declared incompetent
before you die. And even if so, North
Carolina statute § 130A-420,
“Authority to dispose of body or body
parts,” gives certain other
instruments priority over HCPOAs regarding
the type, place and method
of disposition. A written statement
regarding final arrangements other
than a will signed by the individual and
witnessed by two adults takes
precedence over a HCPOA; a written will
takes even higher precedence;
and a preneed funeral contract or
cremation authorization form takes
the highest precedence of all—although
future case law could
potentially affect how this statutory
hierarchy plays out.
Therefore, if you prefer to be cremated,
you may also want to use the North
Carolina
Appointment
of
Agent
for
Body
Disposition
and
Authorization
for
Cremation form, which additionally
clarifies whether your
authorized agent must arrange cremation or
may consider other final
arrangements. If you prefer to be buried,
and you do not wish to
establish a preneed funeral contract, then
you might also want to use a
will or another properly witnessed written
statement to enforce your
preferences.
What if you have left no written
directions for final arrangements?
According to North Carolina statute §
130A-420 again, the
following competent persons in the order
listed may be the authorizing
agent for your funeral arrangements: a
surviving spouse; a majority of
adult children; surviving parents; a
majority of surviving adult
siblings; a majority of adult persons in
further degrees of kinship; or
a person who “has exhibited special care
and concern for the decedent
and is willing and able to make decisions
about the disposition.” (The
ordered list continues, but would apply
only to very unusual
situations.) One observation to make here
is that committed partners
who are not spouses likely would not fall
under the privileged category
of “surviving spouse,” which makes using
other written means as
outlined above especially important for
committed but unmarried couples
of any sexual orientation.
A
funeral provider
informs me that state law requires a grave
liner or vault. Is this true?
No state law requires outer burial
containers but cemeteries have the right to
require them as a matter
of business policy. It is illegal for
a funeral provider to state
that outer burial containers are required by
law in North Carolina.
A member of our
family has died, and we don't have money
for a funeral. Can you help?
Funeral Consumers
Alliance of the Piedmont does not have funds
to assist families with
funeral expenses. We can provide information
that might be helpful,
however.
If you have some
funds available, then you should be aware
that direct cremations and
immediate burials are the least expensive
options available from a
funeral provider. Both offer basic services
without embalming, public
viewing or ceremony. (Of course, you can
always have a memorial service
afterward that doesn't involve the funeral
provider's assistance.) You
can cut expenses even further by providing
your own urn (in the case of
cremation) or casket (in the case of
burial). Cremation is almost
always less expensive than burial. For a
cremation, it usually costs
less to work directly with a crematory
rather than a funeral home. One
crematory in our area charges customers to
transfer cremated remains
into a container provided by the consumer;
in this case, ask that the
cremated remains simply be returned to you
in the crematory's
"temporary container" that is usually either
a cardboard box or plastic
bag.
If your funds are
insufficient even for a direct cremation,
you might consider an
anatomical bequeathal (whole-body donation)
to Wake Forest University's
Baptist Medical Center. Human cadavers are
used by the medical school
for educational purposes for one to two
years, then cremated. The
cremated remains can be returned to the
family upon request. Not all
bodies are suitable -- for instance, extreme
obesity and certain
pathological conditions are reasons for
exclusion -- and the program
prefers arrangements to be made in advance.
However, sometimes a body
can be accepted at the last minute if it has
been refrigerated. The
family is responsible for arranging
transportation of the body to the
facility. The family may do this themselves
or may hire a funeral home
or licensed funeral transport provider. For
more information on funeral
transport options, contact our chapter. For
more information on the
whole-body donation program, contact Dr.
Craig Henkel at (336) 716-4379
or chenkel@wfubmc.edu
Genesis
Legacy
also accepts whole body donations for the
the Medical Education and
Research Institute (MERI) a medical
teaching and training facility in
Memphis, Tenn. Both entities are
not-for-profit educational
organizations. Genesis Legacy arranges and
pays for the transport of
the body. To learn more, visit www.genesislegacy.org
Another option,
if a whole-body donation cannot be arranged,
is to offer the body to a
body broker, someone who serves as an
intermediary between those who
have bodies, such as medical centers, and
those who need them, such as
sponsors of surgical seminars. There is a
growing trade in body parts,
which Funeral Consumers Alliance is seeking
to have come under greater
regulatory scrutiny. Despite the lack of
transparency in many of these
businesses--you may never learn what become
of your loved one's
remains--they usually do not cost the
consumer anything. You can locate
some of these entities by Googling "body
part donations."
When families
come to a funeral home or crematory with
very limited funds, funeral
providers often will encourage them to look
to friends, relatives and
faith communities for assistance with the
costs. Occasionally, a
funeral home will offer a free or discounted
funeral for specific
hardship cases, but no funeral provider is
obligated to do so. The last
resort, established by North Carolina law,
is the social services
department of the county in which the death
occurred, if it is evident
that nobody will step forward within 10 days
to claim a body for burial
or cremation. In that case, the body is
first offered to the state
Commission on Anatomy. If the offer is
refused, then the county
arranges and pays for a final disposition of
its choice. It is unlikely
that in such a situation a family would have
much opportunity for
viewing the body.
A member of my family
has just died here, but we need to have
his body flown to a foreign
country for burial. Can you help?
Eagle's
Wing's Air
Travel Agency specializes in air funeral
transport to international
locations. You can visit their website at
www.eagleswingsair.com
or call them at (866) 550-1392. Or if you
are being assisted by a
funeral home, you can have them make the
call. If you know of other
resources, particularly for bodies being
flown to Mexico, we'd like to
learn about them.
Clark Howard, the
consumer talk show host, says you can
arrange a discount burial or
cremation. What discount do you offer?
Clark
Howard is a
member of the Atlanta chapter of Funeral
Consumers Alliance, which,
like some older FCA chapters, operates on
what FCAers called the Costco
Model -- you basically buy into the
chapter to obtain a discount burial
or cremation worked out just for its
members with one or two local
funeral providers. These chapters
had their heyday before the
Funeral Rule came out in 1984 to empower
consumers with more control
over the selection of funeral goods and
services. Like most newer FCA
chapters, we don't operate that way.
Instead, we operate on the
Advocacy Model, meaning that we use
research, education and advocacy to
teach all consumers in our area -- not
just our members -- how to save
money on funeral arrangements, if indeed
that is their aim. Our
not-for-profit status would be in jeopardy
if we were to provide a
significant benefit available only to
members, and the funeral
providers involved would simply pass those
costs on to other funeral
consumers. In addition, we are careful to
avoid entangling, too-cozy
relationships with one or two funeral
providers, wanting instead to be
an objective, fair and credible source for
comparative data on funeral
providers in our area. In this way, we
operate very much like Consumer
Reports, except we focus only on the local
funeral industry. Regardless
of which model is used by an FCA chapter,
it is true that we are all
the "go to" source for funeral consumers
on how to cut funeral costs.
Although we can't offer you a member-only
discount, our member resource
binder is full of information that will
teach you about your rights and
options as a funeral consumer--knowledge
that can easily save you
thousands of dollars at life's end. For
more information on our
Advocacy Model, go here.
In
North
Carolina, a consumer buys space rights in
a cemetery plot, crypt or
columbarian, but does not actually
purchase the land involved.
Therefore, instead of a deed, the consumer
would receive an interment
certificate conferring such rights. The
documentation should clearly
identify the location and specific rights
involved, and it is
reasonable to request a map that shows the
place to which the rights
point.
